Listening....and a little talking..

I am a talker, I have always talked, talked when Im nervous, talked when I am happy or sad & most definitely talked when there is silence...

But over the years I have slowly & I mean really slowly learned to listen more & talk less..it is by far the most difficult lesson for me to learn. But very rewarding..something I will continue to work at...

The problem with always talking means that you are literally talking to anyone who will listen, including yourself. Which of course seems nuts but is actually very rational. I have processed & worked through many indecisions & complications in my life by just talking to myself...so yes, I totally recommend it...

Try to LISTEN to these guys first & foremost!

I went travelling & living abroad when I finished studying & for the first time in my life I was alone a lot of the time. So of course I talked to myself a lot, but also learnt to cope with the silence. When you start understanding & coping with the silence, it changes your entire outlook on life. It creates an incredible peace within (true story). I have often been dying to comment on a discussion taking place & taught myself when it is actually okay to comment or just better to shut it...this will be a lesson that I will continue learning all the way to my grave....it is so tough...

Now listening on the other hand, well that is quite something. Having children has taught me many things...especially about listening...& being silent.

Firstly, silence is glorious at times. To sit and think of absolutely nothing & to say less is wonderful. To not answer questions, to not have to ask for things to be done & as wonderful as it is, children, especially toddlers seldom keep quiet, which is all wonderful, except a little silence goes a long way. This is why so many moms hide away & believe me, that is okay, except I don't have a pantry (note to self). Yoga on the other hand has possibly helped me in a large way to embrace sitting in the silence. With listening comes observation & with observation understanding. 

Secondly, listening & I don't mean hearing, I mean true listening is vital in relationships...human beings need to be heard & deserve the respect. I catch myself so often about to take over a conversation, another lesson that I am truly working on, but an even more important one...People deserve to be heard. You don't have to agree, but just listen...If we don't listen, we miss out on some incredible things, including some amazing little peep comments..priceless!

This takes me to my third point, which is vital.. Listen to your children..this is the so damn tough...oh my word...having a child scream at me, makes me picture myself punching them (which of course you cannot & should not do)..My ears close & I cannot hear a thing, never mind sensitively listen...

So the best way for me to deal with this is to "show the hand" & get the child to replay the scenario.. C-A-L-M-L-Y! Then I can listen & be rational. 

We spend so much time complaining about the 'youth of today', 'children today', 'teens of today'; when most of the time simply being rational & actually listening most of the time (sadly not all of the time), will make the biggest difference & the outcome will be calmer.. Are we as the older generation at fault for our children NOT listening & paying attention or has it always been this way & we just don't remember?

I admit to having a glass of wine most evenings, sadly it helps me to remain calm during the 'suicide hour' that I thought we would have passed years ago! Which continues with massive bouts of 'sibling rivalry', so yes, the wine helps. But sitting down & asking them individually what the problem is or how they are feeling is generally the solution. Unfortunately, as a mom time seems to fly & it is not always possible..(another lesson for another day...priorities...) does it really matter if dinner is late or the house is a mess when you can chat with your little peeps without distraction? It's worth giving it a go, cos this time ain't coming back!

Just remember sometimes spending a little more time listening can save a whole lot of talking in the long run....

This is a great way to enjoy the silence & just to go with it! 

2017

I don't normally go on & on with loads of info, but seeing as it is my New Years post (on the 13th of the month - Friday the 13th - the great things in life have been keeping me very busy), I may go on a little.

I am a very optimistic happy individual, the glass is always full to the top, never mind half full & there are no problems, only solutions, so after a rather tough 3/4 of 2016, I felt that that was that... I was tired due to an ailing father & I gave myself permission to chill out..within days of course I was sick with stomach bugs & flu (as far as I am concerned if you become sick & lose your health you have nothing - money can seldom buy health, so without my health I felt awful). I still managed to be positive that my body was letting go of stress & so forth. But then 2016 really went pear shape. I lost a very good friend, another very close girl friend lost her one day old baby & another friend lost her husband within 2 weeks..So to put it mildly I lost my JOY. 

We all go through stuff in life & we may support one another & move on, YES, IT IS LIFE... but that certainly does not make it easier.... so I lost my energy & creativity. Three close women in my life have also had breast cancer, so within 4 month, the SHIT, literally hit the fan. I am an empathetic person, so when people feel pain, I struggle to separate myself. I know so many who had loses in 2016 or suffered hard tough fates! The worst thing to deal with is that all of this loss is life & the way life goes. It literally took me November & December to find a way to deal with it all & realise that we move on but don't forget...I have managed to dive head first into ceramics & I am loving it..
It is my way of expressing & I have finally found my niche...that is not going to of course stop me from trying loads of other mediums, but I feel so excited.. I also spend a lot of time praying... praying for strength, praying to keep positive & praying for those who have lost or who are struggling. That makes me feel as though I am helping. Some of us go through heavy things & experience horrible things...don't underestimate your experience, it's yours, own it  & with help find the strength to move on...you deserve to move on & be happy, it is your right!

I know that this is all very heavy, but I feel as though I needed to share how I have felt. As women we so often keep things to ourselves, but that is not brave & strong. Women need to support one another & give each other a shoulder to cry on & a good glass of wine...Life is difficult enough without gossip & nastiness...I am reading a book by Constance Hall (she is fabulous) called Like A Queen! We women are all queens & we need to remember that always! We need to stop bashing each other & competing with one another. What a waste of energy. Spend a day complimenting other women...& smiling at each & everyone of them, young & old...it is wonderful...

Constance calls a spade a spade.....be warned!!!

So 2017 is certainly going to improve hugely. I have found my niche creatively, so will still do as much art as possible with more & more ceramics...it is so therapeutic!

Whoever is out there & does read my blog, I appreciate it! I am not always very disciplined & certainly not always very creative & artistic, but I do love beautiful, interesting things...so thank you for supporting my little cause, that of finding small joys amongst the big things in this crazy world.

Wishing you a wonderful happy & healthy 2017

I don't claim to know it all, I just know that it helps to know that you have support & we are all watching out for one another...it's important!

I find Pinterest pretty damn cool & here are some incredible words to inspire you for 2017!

My Favourite Picture Like Ever...so Beautiful!

Enjoy & love 2017

What I have been up to.....between kids, life & living

Being adult seems all consuming at times...I often don't feel old enough to actually be an adult. Yet the responsibility keeps piling up..it's not as though I never had to face huge stuff as a teenager or in my twenties and thirties, it's just that being in my forties, I sometimes feel panicked at the amount of responsibility...I know we all face it & with little people as well as an ailing parent, it can be over whelming...but finding time out & my own space has become more & more important! Thankfully I have a husband that lets me be & kids that are pretty independent, so it gives me space to do what I need to do.......... 

Nothing like a little time out to fully appreciate "ME TIME"! Wow, I am one very very lucky woman to have the space & time that my life allows me...even if I do occasionally have to catch up work til midnight....

I Finally Did It.........

For the longest time I have been struggling along with a quilt for my little pink loving person & for the longest time it has felt like a chore...it started off with such excitement & enthusiasm! However, after a year (it is really hot & sticky trying to do such clean precise work in the middle of Summer), I finally just got stuck in & did it...it took me two days & a LOT of patience with my not very well behaved sewing machine, but I DID IT, I finally finished the quilt....yay! Quilt done, tick!!!

I hand stitched and quilted all the fabric, but machine stitched the two patches together.. 

It's a winner, no quite sure how the little pink person feels, but think that she likes it..

besides I do, I am totally blown away that I could do it....

Road Tripping...

Our original plan was a coastal road trip up the East Coast of our lovely South Africa... but the Indonesia kind of got in the way!! (Definitely not complaining) So we decided to keep going with our travel plans by keeping local & closer to home we felt "Why Not?"

So three weeks of basic adjustment & packing a few more bags (luxury of travelling locally), we set off, the four of us on our way road tripping...

The East Coast is my favourite drive, it is so beautiful continuously up the N2, along the Garden Route. 

We had an in car comp of who could take the best Instagram shots & who could get the most likes...great fun I might add. Travelling with two very good travellers, aged 4 & 9, was a good start...they certainly had their moments, but we tend to put the music up..they really did us proud...
Our first stop was George to stay with a wonderful old mutual friend of ours who we haven't seen for ages! It was wonderful to catch up & the kids had a ball... Setting off the next morning, we headed onwards; stopping along the way at Monkey Land & Birds of Eden, in Plettenberg Bay! Both of which were amazing & we were so happy that we stopped. Totally worth it...

By the end of the trip I certainly had my travel ducks very nicely in a row....

Next stop J-Bay where they were setting up for the WSL surf competition & our driver/dad/husband/dude got to have a good surf or two & we got to thoroughly enjoy the beach as the weather was amazing. We spent two nights in self catering accommodation, Sea Shells,  which was clean & comfortable! Our besties (our family peeps, who we dig hanging out with), were waiting in J-Bay for us, so there was company for each of us & therefore no irritating each other...I also got to meet a long lost family member which was pretty incredible for me...

We then headed off to Addo Elephant Park which was great fun, only a little too short, but we got to see; a few Elephants, Zebras, a variety of Buck, loads of Warthogs & some birds of prey too... The kids loved it, especially the boys..they had a ball..

The next day we took a slow drive through the park and got to see quite a lot more, (no lions), but we had a good laugh...

Off to my very happy place, via Port Elizabeth & East London, we headed to Morgan Bay & The Morgan Bay Hotel...oh I do love Morgs...The secret season presented itself with the most fantastic weather, we went on loads of adventures, we relaxed until we could no longer relax & we laughed & laughed & laughed until we could no longer...it was magic & even better to share it with our besties...we barely saw the children who had the best time...

I live at the beach & cannot get enough of it!!!

Feeling incredibly relaxed we said farewell to our besties & headed North through the Transkei towards Kwazulu Natal...The Transkei is so beautiful, but the drivers on the road are suicidal lunatics, we were in awe...the actual roads are fantastic & the views spectacular!
Thankfully our wonderful dad/husband/driver/dude is an exceptional driver who is super cautious so we got through unscathed. 
We arrived in Natal, which is lovely in Winter...although the dryness was a shocker (the storms arrived the day we left), the weather was divine and we got to enjoy some great Durbs experiences...
The hotel offered us days of lying by the pool & enjoying the lovely sun, Umchlanga has multiplied! There is so much building going on, which was quite overwhelming & gave us more reason not to leave the hotel. We enjoyed the beach, the warm sea & a glass of Champagne & Oysters at the Oyster Box, without children (lovely, the peace & the place)

We got to the Durban Beach Front which was the most fun...especially for the kids...

The kids had a ball..

After three weeks it was wonderful to finally get home & face the daily grind...amazing family time & incredible memories...we have decided that our family motto is:

"It's about the experiences & memories" Until the next trip....

Our very relaxed Happy Family!!

Sneaky Indonesian Getaway

I may seldom see very much of my husband during the Southern Summer Season (this I have gracefully accepted), but when the opportunity comes along to escape to the Mentawi Islands in Indonesia, there really is no doubt whether you & your children should accompany him.....

We joined 6 other awesome surfer/travellers on this awesome adventure...to the middle of nowhere & we had no idea, or very little idea of where we were going...

After 40 hours of travel; plane, car & boat, we finally arrived...& I kid you not......

What an amazingly beautiful place; warm waters, warm sun & the Tropics at it's best...

Getting there; 40 hours of travel with these two little peeps & they were amazing....

Besides we are most definitely warm weather peeps..none of this cold stuff...thanks!

Think and feel paradise....this is it....the most incredible place....A very HAPPY PLACE..

My guy getting some great waves in warm water and loving life...

IMAGES COMPLIMENTS OF SACHA & AYESHA SPECKER

 This is the life...

BOTH BOTTOM IMAGES COMPLIMENTS OF SACHA & AYESHA SPECKER

IMAGES COMPLIMENTS OF SACHA & AYESHA SPECKER

My obsession with flowers & plants, the colours are hypnotic & just so gorgeous

My very chilled out & rested little family...these peeps rocked...Thanks dad for the experience...

The Mentawi Islands are vast with incredible surfing, snorkeling & scuba-diving.. the weather is always beautiful, come rain or shine & the locals lovely.

At least once in your life time this is a must....enjoy...

We have found our paradise....

2016 Decorex

I had no plans on going to Decorex as I was planning a full weekend of children & life! 

Suddenly I had a wonderful gap and no better way then to descend on the CTICC!

It was pretty packed with tons of families...but I had three wonderful free hours...

With the possibility of a renovation on the horizon, I found some pretty great ideas. Especially for the boring stuff like flooring, windows & general stuff...

However, two women in particular really made quite an impression on me...

I studied clothing design which I detested & always wished that I had rather moved to textile design, so I therefore find textiles incredible....

Gaby Beyers who has The Cecil Blake Collective was so incredibly inspiring..her collection is just beautiful & so beautifully made.

Then I discovered Andrea Brand with the most beautiful fabrics...I really felt that meeting these 2 women made Decorex for me this year..

So gorgeous! Both definitely my choice for the future!!

Take a look!